My young cousin had a bit of a experience with this demon drink at the weekend past I was hearing and it made me think about my own solitary experience with it which was about ten years ago now. At the time i was like her, totally mortified but now i can look back and laugh and tell the story, seriously scared the shit out me at the time though.

We were down at Fragile’s having a pre going out carry out, it was a Saturday. for my carryout I probably had some beers and also some Bacardi Breezers, sounds a bit poofy now but then it was all the rage to have alco pops on a night out. Pineapple Bacardi breezers were my favourite however if there was a special price on the long since departed Vodka Sources then I was inclinded to drink it instead. Regardless, I drunk my carry out in Fragiles bedroom watching his 14in portable Tv which we all had back then. No big flat screen efforts and Sky+ in your bedroom back then.

I am waffling quite a bit and for that i am sorry, the crux of the story arrives now. I have no memory of who brought it but i am sure it was brought back from someone on holiday abroad and this was our  big night to try it out. Absinthe. The shot glasses were lined up and we all had one (or most of us did anyway) I am sure i only had one, or maybe one and a half, we were all a bit nervous about the repercussions of what would happen as though its nowhere near the banned (though im sure the ban had recently been lifted in many places across europe) green liquid which saw Vincent Van Gogh chop up his lug back when he was alive and painting pictures of plants in his living room it was still the highest proof booze I had ever had. Cant remember how it tasted or anything and then nothing.

The rest of my story i dont know whether i remember vividly or whether it has been built up as a memory from what i was told, probably a bit of both. I recall falling arond Wotherspoons a bit and being held up by my belt buckle. I was driven home not long after, probably before 10pm, I think I was out a grand total of 10 minutes. In Davids car i was hanging out the window shouting at a couple of girls just out for their night out that i was going home! When dropped off at my house i got up the path and couldnt work out how to get my house keys out of my pocket so simply asked for the door to be opened. Well, it was more like a slow chant, and not very loud either. “let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in”. Since it was early no one was in bed and they heard me coming up the stairs and the path but obviously wondered why i didnt put the key in the door and come in. Someone (sister or Mum) stuck their head out the bathroom window and asked what i was doing. Let me in i replied.

What happened next i know was relayed to me the next day as my memory is thus. I woke up in my brothers bed with no recollection of what had gone before. Now at this time I shared a room with my brother and we had bunkbeds, i was the top bunk but i awoke in the bottom bunk. The reason we had bunkbeds when i was 19 and he was 17 doesnt need to be dealt with now, or ever i guess but i thought i would include the information to paint the picture better.

So i look down and the duvet has a big black stain on it and i feel like crap. I jump up because of this stain and realise my bed is stripped  and something is very very wrong. In the bathroom my duvet is in the shower and another big black stain. Turns out not long after i came in in fell out the top bunk and not long after that i spewed big style all over my bed. What came out was like tar and the tail end got onto sstephens bed. I was put in there for my own safety and fianlly fell over to sleep but i awoke to two duvets runined and my matress looking as if it might be on its way out.

Ultimatiely the matress was saved however it was turned over for the rest of its natural life. The night out cost me nada because i was home within half an hour however the dosh saved and then some went toward buying new duvets for myslef and my brother.

Mortified isnt the word. To be fair, I never got to hard a time for what happened. I think the fright i got and the state my body was in afterward was its own punishment. Lesson learnt and absinthe has never passed my lips since. its been a while since then as i have measured but i do feel comfortable telling that story now and have kind of made it my own. Hopefully my cousin will be able to do the same soon.


One thought on “Absinthe

  1. karen August 26, 2010 / 11:21 pm

    Oh believe me john, mine is WORSE!

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