Did my best turf accountant based Nostradamus impression last night and managed to pick out a five team winning football coupon. It could have been two nights in a row but for some reason i managed to blow my amazingly forseen Rangers bleaching at the hands of Valencia by doubling it up with Bursaspor. Bursaspor i know have accepted are simply a team made up of waiters in all inclusive holiday resorts in Turkey and have no hope of even scoring* in European football never mind stealing a win against Manchester United.
*this fact will probably be disproved when Rangers capitulate as many a Scottish team does in a few weeks time when they go over to Turkey to play what will probably be some sort of make or break game in their qualifying campaign.
But back to my victory last night, although most results were probably expected (Roma, Chelsea, Bayern and Marseille) I did pluck Shakthar out of nowhere to dump Arsenal even though the Gunners have been going well in this years competition. i told everyone my reasons for picking the Ukrainians, Arsenal have been there 4 times and not recorded a win and also they wouldnt field a top XI team so 7/4 looked good to me. I sat last night with my winning coupon in my hand ealgerly awaiting today not just because i would be collecting my money but also because i could rub it in with workmates about my impressive football knowledge. I also predicted the outcome of this weeks Apprentice ten minutes before Lord Sugar said your fired, its fair to say im on red hot form.
Today there is even more football and what with two days of top picking, confidence is sky high, so high in fact that a fall is a certainty. My 20 pounds plus (yes that is the amazing amount of money i won which i felt was good enough to write a whole blog on, well not a whole blog, keep reading to see a tenuous link be exploited) which i weedled away from the good folks at Ladbrokes will no doubt be back in their pocket by the very latest……next Tuesday.
Talking of Nostredamus, I decided to buy a Sunday paper (on guess when) and on Page 32 of the Sunday Herald there is a belter of an article about Clairvoyants in Russia and the Balkans predicting World War 3 starting around Thursday next week. Thats nice isnt it? I havent even used up all my holidays at work yet, I bet if it all comes true they wont honour them when its over.
There is a couple of burd clairvoyants (one of which the Herald described as buxom and pretty which basically begged a google search but only threw up pictures of Ronnie Woods ex mrs who fits the bill bit kind of makes me wonder that if they really are the same person the article would have made a point of making apoint of that) who are saying this stuff but are maybe reflecting what some Bulgarian clairvoyant called Baba Vanga said before she died in 1996. Yes she is dead and predicted all this stuff before then, she also predicted the death of Stalin (which surely i could have too, no one lives forever) the death of Lady Di, if she predicted that the way it happened then she has a beleiver in me i have to say. However she is mostly famous (loosely as i abet if your reading this then this is the first like me you have heard of her) now due to her prediction back then that America would elect a coloured President who whos mandate would begin with a major economic crisis! Spooky. She also predicts that the black man would be the last president as after him the US would disintergrate into smaller independant states. Now provided we all get over the Hump Day that is next Thursday then that is surely worth watching out for. I wonder what would happen to the NFL if America got smaller, would they still play? And how would it split? I would guess into three. East and West thriving and the middle receding back to live in houses made in holes in the ground like troglodytes (which exist i was once told).
This Baba Vanga character was both illiterate and blind which i suppose makes no odds to the story of her predicting an apocalypse due to kick off a week today. Hollyoaks is just starting to get interesting as well too, some decent character arcs. Plus that Boardwalk Empire is supposed to be good, i was going to wait on it being shown on Sky next year but should i just try and stream it on the net like a naughty boy? So many decisions to make as i wait patiently to see if the end is indeed nigh.
She claims that animal and human life will be reduced in Europe and the best place to hide is in the East of Russia (which is near America, no?) but she doenst mention if the internet availablity is very good there so while i will bookmark airline websites for ease of booking a flight i wont actually book anything today. If there is a message on twitter though tonight or tomorrow commenting on the impressive connection speed in east Russia though the credit card will be getting maxed out and my big ski jacket will be getting put in the washing machine in preperation. To go off on a tangent, the instructions for the jacket says to put a tennis ball in the washing machine with the jacket so it bashes around the garment and stops the feathers from clumping and i just want to say i think thats a brilliantly simple idea. Cant wait to try it. Hope it doenst fuck my drum. Which admitedly is a trifling issue considering next Thursdays impending events.
So these folks supposedly prey on the trusting and the gullable, which i would say i could consider myself amongst. i remember one night a few years ago driving home from work listening to Talksport and a explorer describing his plans to travel to the north pole, cut his way through the ice and basically fall in the top onto a secret under the earths surface other world where he believes Hitler sailed to to escape and currently lives. He can to this conclusion because he beleives that if the world was created by spinning then the top and bottom wont be fully finished and also that the wieght if the world is wrong as its hollow and we have all been duped. In my mind that was a decent arguement and he had me, i was in. I then did a bit of online research and came to the conclusion he was probably a crackpot, not before passing all the information off as some sort of fact to anyone who was interested and plenty of people who werent.
Anyways with that in mind this, The “Nostradamus of the Balkans” has at least given me some food for thought. Should be an intersting week provided i dont forget about it by Sunday.