How Big is Too Big? Microwave Chronicles

Bought a microwave last week for our new house, never had one to transfer into said house so with a clean slate we went about the business of getting one. But who would have knew it could have been so hard, it took a week and a few scouting missions to decide and finally purchace and when we got it home it is fucking massive!

See there is all sort of things to take into consideration i think. First off for me was make, i got it into my head early on that i wanted one which name matched the new hob and cooker so samsung ones were what i scanned the shelves for. Fact is, they arent very good looking, which is another thing to bear in mind, but on closer inspection i have came to the conclusion that microwaves as a family of kitchen appliances are essentially ugly, really really ugly. My hob is the hottie of the kitchen, all sleek smooth ceramic with touch controls and a seductive chirp when you press buttons (what the hell am i writing), the toaster and kettle have potential to be lookers to, even a fridge but from what i have seen, microwaves are the swamp donkeys of the kitchen essentials.

But they are essentials so on with the hunt. Next up is controls like whether it has wee twiddly knob type things or one hundred million buttons for making it work. 90% of buttons are never pressed in the weeks months and years you own them though so using that as a purchasing guage is maybe a little redundant. The pizza button for example which i have had on previous microwaves i have used regularly, I have no clue what it definately does. Even the defrost button, how does it really work? Im sure i have seen some which have a button for a full sunday roast. How do these work, does it seperate cooking times and powers for the meat, tatties veg and gravy? Do they all go in together? Seperate? Or have i imagined it? Ideally thats how it should work, but it doesnt, more often you put it on full power to blast some beans to throw on toast nd it blows them all up while turning the container into a glass or pyrex piece of blazing rock which is untouchable by human hands but unmanageble by oven gloves. The ultimate paradox. So instead you struggle with a dish towel, a corner falling in and contaminating your beans.

Where was i? Ah yes, knobs or buttons.

The one thing i skirted over in choice was size, i did notice sizes but paid them no worry. Surely microwaves are standard sized with bigger insides maybe? Plus my brain couldnt decipher litres as size measurements of a tin box. How do you work that out? Anyway, the question remains, how big is too big? If its two litres bigger then what does that mean? Where is the scale of size to need. X litres is for folk who do beans in pyrex dishes and baked potatoes in it. The folks who microwave their weetabix in there. Thats me, thats where i am on the scale. Y litres would be for the folk who defrost loafs in minutes, who can cook actual meals in there. Who use the grill function that all microwaves seemed to have bout ten years ago that noone i knew used for fear of burning down their house just because they couldnt be fucked crossing the kitchen to use the toaster.

So there we are, the basics of choosing microwaves. Heres what i wanted; a black samsung effort with buttons and a wee clock. I wanted it to fit in my kitchen and i wanted to get it for under £60 (of course price is a factor but i didnt want to be so gauche as to mention it you know?)

What i got was a black samsung but with knobs instead of buttons and enough litres inside to cook a turkey i think. Its amazing what a sub £50 deal will make you do.

It is fucking massive though.


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