Exercise as a hobby is i have always felt, for dicks. However, needs must. So…..
A new year, new me fitness kick type thing has spluttered and cough back to life it would seem as i went a little jog on Friday after my work. In fact it was my second time out this year following a frankly
rather poor embarrasing effort the Thursday before where i felt as if my heart was about to pop a mere 5 minutes into a run that only lasted 15 due to my undeniable shitness in the personal fitness stakes. I managed to get home though, a feat made far easier by the fact that at no point on my journey could i not see my house, (i ran around the field at the side of my house essentially) it was tough though.
The exercise thing is for a variety of reasons, for one, i hear exercise lowers your state of depression, now i am not depressed at the moment but surely you can build up a wee reservoir of resistance or maybe a get out of jail free card which you can stick halfway under your corner of the board game of life to be used when its needed by dicking around in shorts and sweating more than is respectable in public?
I also partook in a chip based luncheon that day, a half pizza to be precise (it was really rather good, nice fresh chips and the half pizza was an onion one which was a nice change from the plain cheese which is the standard), plus there was whisperings in dialogue between my good lady and myself that a weekend carry out dinner might be on the cards so guilt set in and I felt that that had to be burned off a bit as a preemptive strike of sorts you know?
Thirdly and most importantly, this whole joggingy fitnessish type of thing will also help out with my November wedding preperations as the big day looms larger as every day passes and the month count gets smaller and smaller. The thought of pictures I will be forced to look at for eternity which show me with anything other than a thin tanned face (vain, much?) fills me with dread. Shifting a wee bit of unwanted chunk would be ideal.
Having said that, i am actually a tall skinny bastard who could do with putting on a pound or two but in the right areas. Some muscles on my arms would be a benefit i should think, right now i have skinny wee girl wrists and biceps most men could wrap their fingers round. My grand plan of tattooed upper arms hangs in the balance of whether or not i can sort out this problem, and its not looking good. Hey and im not even looking for a set of guns (horrible horrible turn of phrase), more just something that looks like my bones have been padded out a smidge from my shoulders to my hands.
Wouldnt mind some calf muscles too since its turning into a list, birds legs hanging out a nest is a often uttered phrase in my direction, however in fairness its spot on.
I suppose these items on my wish list seem a bit unrealistic considering my new regime consists of running for less than half an hour every week or so and if you were thinking that then you would be right. But back off! Fuck it, its a start.