A Diary in 53 Parts: Part 6: Week 5

Where I watched wrestling for the first time in many a long year and also filled out a sex survey.

Sunday 29th January.

Woke up with the biggest cheeser of a smile so I did at around 9am though the horrendous hangover that enveloped me soon after kept me in bed for a full two hours before i could actually stand up and put some clothes on. Soon after i managed this epic feat we were with child as the niece was dropped off for a bit of babysitting on our part. No bother for us. The rest of the day was just the slow burn of my hangover and nipping out to pick up my car which i left in Tescos car park. I put a tenners worth of petrol in it as its the end of the month and dont get paid till Tuesday and find out that a tenners worth of petrol is pretty much nothing. Went to bed happy and caught the highlights again of the Killie game, think over the course of the weekend i have seen it about 10 times. Doesnt get old.

Monday 30th.

Collected a fiver today from a work colleague who for some reason backed against the mighty Killie on Saturday. He had left me a lovely i.o.u. note from him working Sunday OT but duly paid up when I got in. Ordinarily wouldnt have took the money but….well who am i kidding, happily collected the cash. Ye’ll never take the Killie! When I got home Davie (aka Big Oak (though never by me, so I dont know why i even mention it)) came round because I had ordered and recorded the WWE Royal Rumble PPV from during the night. Now there is a reason for this that I wont get into but that had to be rain checked, however it was still ordered so seemed stupid not to give it a watch. Plus, neither Davie or I had seen any big wrestling event so were both curious. It was pretty pish really, here are my reasons. Its completely tame, no aggression whatsoever and the soap opera of it seems to have gone, i thought i would have got a laugh at the build ups and storylines of fights but I couldnt tell you why any fight took place or what will happen next. The guy from Ayr who wrestles got gubbed by a huge guy who danced before and after his fight. Very bizzare. They (the commentators) also bang on and on about twitter, about what is trending wrestling wise and generally plug it on a regular basis and its annoying as fuck. Because if there was folk watching who cared about twitter then they can read so why not just put stuff up on the screen adn be done with it? But I am going on a bit about this, who really gives a fuck?

Tuesday 31st.

Bit of aggro that was missing made an appearance at my work today, sadly i never seen it first hand as i was stuck behind a pile of boxes and by the time i climbed over them to goggle it like everyone else it was over. Bit pish really but it was talked about a fair bit so when i put it all back together in my imagination it felt like i was there watching so thats good.

Natalie and I finally finished watching the first season (gadz) of Terra Nova off our Sky+. It was ridiculously average. Maybe the best thing about watching it is that its now off my sky planner and that space will now be used for something else, lots of new stuff starting soon you know.

Wednesday 1st February.

Natalies gran died today.

Thursday 2nd.

Heard Bebo might have closed its doors but I never actually went and had a look to see if its true so I will hold off on sharing my bebo memories until i have this news proven by my own eyes. Which is a sentence that doesnt make sense.

Friday 3rd.

Wake up, work, fitba, dinner and bed.

Saturday 4th.

The morning starts with email i got from The Daily Record/Sunday Mail which tells me that i can win a trip for two to Toronto. Usually these emails get deleted straight away but the prize looks good so i open it up and have a look. In it it reads:

“We’ve teamed up with Canadian Affair, Scotland’s leading tour operator to Canada, to give one lucky reader a three-night break to this amazing city. Just complete the Big Scottish Sex Survey for your chance to win.

So i did just that, need to keep my eyes open to see when the results are in the paper and see if anyone elses dream date is Carol McGiffin.

Won a coupon today, first of the year and it was only on a daft line of outsiders that i was too feart to fling into my well studied home and away losing lines. Funny how that happens. 31 quid for a pound fifty stake. Of course wehen i went in to pick up my grand winnings it dawned on my that i was now champion tipster of Killie, a man in possession of limitless football knowledge and this knowledge could be used for the good of my bank balance by putting on another coupon, this time delving into the dark recesses of my mind and plucking some information about leagues in and around Europe, oh and of course my stake would be a pound fifty because as much as I beleived in my awesome powers, there was the wee aspect of superstition lingering that maybe the £1.50 bet was the key to my gambling fortune.

Bayern Munich gubbed me for a tenner by not winning at home.

At night we headed off to friends engagement party at the Glenfield Bowling club in the town. A very nice night was had but the Glenfield gents toilet is maybe the worst laid out toilet in the west of Scotland. Because it has no door, you walk into the changing room area for bowler men and its open plan with a part partition which has urinals running down the other side of the partition. if you walk into the changing room and keek round the wall you could potentially see a whole line of maybe 8 willies at a push all stood in a row. Man has never been more vulnerable than he is while taking a pee pee in that there bog. Cheap booze though.

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