A Diary in 53 Parts: Part 11: Week 10

Where I went viral and was spotted everywhere.

Sunday 4th March.

Up early on a Sunday to clear some space in the conservatory to let young Craig in to wallpaper the “feature” wall in there. I say feature, its effectively the only wall considering the rest of it is just glass. I would like to say i was instrumental in the whole decorating process, I wasnt though. I sat through the front room dicking around on the laptop. Got told that our wedding features in the Ayrshire Wedding Directory by someone who picked it up at the Ayrshre wedding fair at Rugby Park. Did know about it becuase i wrote the article that goes with it but was nice to be spotted.

Monday 5th.

Made myself a baked potato for dinner tonight but wasnt entirely sure how to do this. I wanted to make a real baked potato in an oven with tin foil and everything, not as i have been doing for the last few years, microwaving it and passing that off as a baked tattie. To fix the problem i had with not knowing how to do it i did what anyone does when they wan to know something. I googled it. There is a fair amount of chefs and cooks and the likes out there who can fair spina yarn about baked tatties i will tell you. To my surprise the majority tell you not to use tin foil otherwise you just steam your potato, you could know me over with a feather at that, instead they tell you to rub it with olive oil and some salt before bunging it onto the shelf for an hour and a bit. Dead easy, should have done this ages ago.

While it cooked i flung some tuna mayo and chillies together and when it was ready i ate it. This however isnt a cook book or recipe blog so i will tell you what else i did this fine monday. I went to a Killie Trust meeting then came home and watched the Scottish Fitba documentary Game for Europe while writing snarky things on facebook and drinking a bottle of March of the Penguins beer which was quite nice.

Tuesday 6th.

I have went over in fine detail what happened when i appeared on tv on this Tuesday here so no point rehashing it again. Just click away if you want a read. When i got home from my big night out at the BBC i had the other Christmas dinner pot noodle which was absolutely horrendous when you knew what to expect, i doused it in soy sauce though which made it taste like nothing and therefore edible. Watched myself back on the TV debate thing at night and watched as my phone lit up with the pish getting quite literally ripped out me for my appearance on tv. You have got to laugh.

Wednesday 7th.

The ribbing didnt stop last night, it continued at work where i was called brokeback killie for a bit on account of my check shirt. After work i took my wedding album down to my grans house to let her see it. My gran is 92 years old now and is looking well. She is one of the most remarkable people i have ever known, she has a thousand stories, sometimes she tells you ones you have heard before and sometimes you get one you havent. tonight i got both, I had heard a few times about how my grampa never actually left the mainalnd during the war, however he was on the boat to Normandy but it was called back, but she also told Natalie and I about how her dad died in 1940 and told it like it was yesterday. What a memory. Sensational woman.

Thursday 8th.

Quiet day apart from the fact our wedding picture appeared in the Standard that came out today. Well last night it came out. You can get it loads of places on a Wednesday night now, i remember when it was the shop in Knockintiber you could get it first on a Wednesday, or so my dad told me….dont know if thats even true.

Friday 9th.

Went to work then headed up to Glasgow to Jongleurs for a comedy night we had booked. A wee spot of dinner and a show then entry into the nightclub in mansion house after that. After a dodgy start where the ten of us were put on table with 6 older folk who had lined themselves up along one side of the long table while we had to line ourselves up on the other (hardly good for a big company) and the table cloth was wet and minging to touch. Words were had and we got a move to a different table which was smaller and just us so better, we then got fed and turns out there was a free drink involved too. All good. Comedians were cracking, mentions to Kai Humphreys and Andrew Longmonth who were outstanding, especially Longmonth who had our table pishing ourselves and other tables wanting to harm him. His set was a bit weird. Out of the nightclubs we could have chose we picked the 80s and the dj refused to play any Wet Wet Wet.

I slept the whole journey back on the night bus which runs every hour by the way from Glasgow to Killie, last time i was out it was 1am and half 3 or something but now its more regular. Stagecoach buses or whoever are resposible should take a bow.

Saturday 10th.

After dodging Ikea to go star on the telly on Tuesday we went today. Bought a couch and a bookcase type of unit and a mirror. We took the mirror home and the rest are getting delivered tomorrow. Good stuff. Also at ikea i completely dodged the hot dogs for the first time in maybe 4 years. Instead we went to MacDonalds.

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