A Diary in 53 Parts: Part 10 :Week 9

Where i made it to part ten which given my track record is something to behold, wasnt a classic as far as notable events go mind you.

Sunday 26th February.

Every fortnight on the weekend FIFA 12 open the head to head area of the game up for a cup. Its bloody brilliant and myself a few fellas i work with at the warehouse talk about it frequently. “is it the cup this weekend?” one of us will ask, some weeks we will say “naw”, other weeks we will say “aye, i think sa”. Granted its not the most exciting of conversations but we do have it most weeks. This weekend, Friday, Saturday and today being Sunday it is open and I spent a fair bit of of my afternoon chasing the dream of a shiny cup and bragging rights come Monday at work. Sadly though i got papped out regular and lost the place with it and packed it in. Next time hopefully.  On my tv today i had the carling cup final where the commentators sold Dirk Kuyts goal as a cracker, i thought he tackled it in, also watched Sean Lock live from 2008 i think, big fan of him off the tv but this is actually the first time i have seen any extensive material from him, was great i thought. Oh and while the mrs watched dancing on ice i scoured youtube 9actually it took 2 minutes) to find the footage of Bill Hicks on the funny farm from the 80s. I have very vivid memories of the opening credits of that show from my youth, probably because it was a cartoon chicken walking down the street, had no recollection of the show itself. The reason i looked up this video was three fold. 1. I found out about it through facebook by Stu Who? who was on the bill the night i did the open slot at Rugby Park and was very nice to me afterwards (and before, an all round good guy) as he is the guy introducing him onto the stage. 2. Hicks would have been 50 today. 3. my phone wouldnt play the format of video the link he posted had and my laptops sound is gubbed so needed to post it to myself on facebook to watch it. Complicated but worth it. In the five minutes he did i saw a guy who used material i had saw work before but get a slightly muted response which he found pretty funny.

For dinner we had Chicken curry and haggis pies from Brownings which were smashing. Haggis with chicken curry on the top baked in a pie. An explanation probably wasnt needed as chicken curry adn haggis pie pretty much summed it up.

Monday 27th.

Came home from work to a running bath which my mrs thought she would treat me too. Climbed in and read my book for half an hour, the book is Game of Thrones and i have been reading it since November, not the best at reading in the winter.

While in this bath i discovered chocolate and mint Original Source shower gel which might be greatest bathroom based invention ever. It takes all my energy and will power not to eat it. If mint aeros smelt like this i would eat one for my dinner every day.

Tuesday 28th.

I dont think i mentioned it at the time but a few weeks ago i went to the dentist for a check up, needed a filling and today was the day it was getting done. My only decision was whether to go white or get one of they horrible metallic amalgam minging things. I already had my fair share of both these things in my mouth prior so it wasnt a case of keeping a uniform look to the inside of my gub. Went with white because the amalgam ones taste horrible for longer, must be the steel content or something.  Or  zinc or whatever its a mixture of. Gadz.

Its supposed to be better now at the dentist. Jags leave no real swelling and you can go about your day as normal without a tennis ball shaped cheek. But in those days that face meant people knew where you had been and gave you the benifit of the doubt when slevers hang from your chin as you walk to the carpark to get home. Now you can be sitting on the bus home with a normal face and shlurping up saliva you are sure is escaping but have no real confirmation of till its making a pool in your jacket. Folks tut tutting you and nothing you can do as your slurred slevery speech doesnt help.

So i got one, right up the back where the tooth hasnt came through properly so food gets caught in the gum and stuff, all very boring. Had a fair amount of work done on my gnashers and another wee filling to add to the collection isnae the worst that could have happened.

One final thing, when the dentist is in there doing the drilling and your mouth is numb do you think they put a wee hole in another tooth to makes sure theres a wage to get come the next check up appointment? Food for thought.

Wednesday 29th.

Your supposed to do something you never usually do on a day like today i am told. I dont think i bothered.

Thursday 1st March.

Never did too much today at all.

Friday 2nd.

Played some football after work and had a fairly early night.

Saturday 3rd.

Got up early to do some overtime at work. On my way home i decided to be proactive and get my coupon on before going home to have lunch prior to football. That way i wouldnt have to rush early going to the football to get to the bookies before. However as i sat eating my beans on toast updates appeared from the Swindon game which featured on my line. They were getting beat.

So the moral of that story is dont try to be smart, dont try and be punctual and make sure things are organised in advance because i had to spend more money backing the rest of my teams in that line again minus Swindon because i would have went mental if Swindon had been the only one who let me down and it was before 3pm. If i had just done my usual and left it to the last kick the n ice lady in the bookmakers would have said, “sorry pal, ones already kicked off, you want me to still put it through?” and i would have said yes then punched the air in delight for dodging a wee bullet.

After all that excitement i went and got bored to tears at the Killie game before a few beers at the Burns’ with my big cousin and the rest of my family on a wee day out for oor Jock, before heading home via Shahs Palace where we got our dinner. One cheeseburger, one chips and cheese and one large portion of veggie pakora between two.

A Diary in 53 Parts: part 3: Week 2

Where I tasted Marmite for the first time and signed for delivery of a frankly massive fridge freezer.

Late again, but is it actually late because i have yet to post one on time? Something to ponder there.

Sunday 8th January 2012

Went to Irvine Asda for shopping this morning as we had a wee job to do in the Rivergate centre so two birds and such things plus i wanted home to watch Man City v Man United on the TV. The shop we needed was shut though so that was a result and so we just did asda. Quite disconcerting is Irvine Asda, they operate right to left instead of left to right like every other Asda i have ever been in (Killie and Ayr that will be) if i moved to Irvine (heaven forbid) i think it would take me quite a bit of getting used to. Strange thing is both Tesco and Morrisons in Killie have you shopping right to left so I have no idea why it fucked with my head as much as it did.

Watched the football when i got home before giving the conservatory another wee coat. At night i finally fired the Christmas decorations up the loft, this might seem like a right lazy bastard type of thing waiting off to the 8th of January however if you consider i never bothered putting them up the loft last Christmas and just left them in the spare room for the year its actually pretty proactive and the sense of pride i felt seems justified.

Monday 9th.

I am so glad Chris Evans is back on the radio 2 breakfast show. I dont grudge him the Christmas holiday or anything but I cannot fathom why they think that Richard Madeley is a decent replacement. he is such a wet lettuce and always comes up with twee and crap links to different things. He says stuff like “we all like cats, so lets get all your favourite cat stories emailed in, or hey drop us a tweet” like anyone really wants to hear about cat stories ya plum! He seems to get the regular stand in job and it does my head in, especially that early in the morning. Chris Tarrants insistance on playing fucking Pink Floyd every day when he steps in for Steve Wright is almost palatteable in comparison.

First full week back at work so its more or less a case of get your head down and hope for easter. Usually my holidays start again in January and the year is rife with opportunities for a wee day off. However from last year we are tying in with financial year or something and that along with my extended break for honeymoon last november means i have only two days to take before April first, which is depressing.

Tuesday 10th.

No much happened.

Wednesday 11th.

Dont know whether i should actually write this down and make it public but I decided today to apply for one of my holidays to be taken on the 19th of March. This is the day after the League Cup final which Killie will play in if they beat Ayr in the semi final later this month. This seems very arrogant and also pretty much tempting fate but the way i see it if i dont get in early some windae licking “hinger oan” will get in before me if and when we do go through and I would have to go to work sans final. No better this way i think, a bit of support for my team that i believe in them.

I will hate myself if the worse happens.

You know that dont you?

Thursday 12th.

Just another Thursday. Just another Thursday i forgot to take notes on.

Friday 13th.

Friday the 13th indeed. Started with a bang as the hangover of Irvine Asda kicked in when i realised my complete confusion resulted in me not getting any cereal and subsequently eating the last of it on Thursday. Fear not i thought, i will have toast and i have just the very thing to put on it. Marmite. We got it in the sales for 10p from BHS or Marks n Spencers or something, a little Christmas gift thing complete with a toast rack emblazoned with the Marmite logo. Never tried the stuff before so no time like now.

It was absolutely disgusting. Urgh. I dont know how anyone can like the stuff. For me there are two people in the world. Those who hate marmite and those who lie to themselves every day of their lives becuase the stuff is rancid, the work of the antichrist. They are like roast chicken crisps, another food of the antichrist. Its hard, i find, to see where you could possibly go wrong with crisps. Take something people like and flavour crisps with it. Tomato sauce – good. Crisps – good. tomato sauce crisps – fucking dynamite. Its easy. But with roast chicken it doesnt work. roast chicken – good. Crisps – good. raost chicken crisps – the work of the devil.

A funeral in the afternoon compounded the feel of the day post marmite. There was however some rays of hope. Radio 2 played an Etta James cover of welcome to the Jungel by Guns n Roses which might be my favourite cover ever and i got promoted again at the head to head fifa league thing on the ps3. Got promoted the night before also but never thought it newsworthy until it became a back to back thing. funny how things work like that. heres Etta James.

Saturday 14th.

A phone call at 7.48am kicked the day off as the Currys delivery guys were phoning to say they would be there in ten minutes. When i asked for a Saturday morning 8am to 1pm time slot i didnt expect anything other than the usual of getting dicked about waiting in all morning so i guess this was a nice surprise. I then sat down to the task of picking out my coupon for the days football as I have pretty much picked it out my arse for the past few months and throwing away money like that is pretty fucking stupid. A wee bit of studying is required, some home and away form noted and acted upon, league tables consulted and used as a basis of choosing some winners. While i did this the BT man came to fix my internet connection. Busy morning.

When the internet man went away (having not fixed the problem) I had toast and beans (and cheese, essentially a cheesy beano though i am always reluctant to use that name for some reason) for the first time this year. A perennial favourite for me and something i think i would incorporate into my last meal if I ever find myself on death row in the state of Florida one day. (touches wood)

The wife and I spent the afternoon swanning around Silverburn and I ended up with a nice new pair of trainers and Justice’ second album. Got Natalie Beyonces latest album too even though it will probably mean I am going to have to listen to it from time to time when in her car. Its nice to be nice though and she has to put up with all my shite (her word) music in my motor, plus i usually have mine loud and she just uses it as background. When home I realise that Take Me Out has started back up on STV, i bloody loved that show last year so watched a bit of it, its definately a show you need to watch when its on on the Saturday night. I have tried taping it and watching it on a Sunday afternoon or when you get in from work on a Monday but its just not the same. Its probably because the great feeling of watching all those desperados on a saturday night when your pumped up for the weekend or whatever is diluted somewhat when you are the saddo desperado on a Monday.

Coupons crashed and burned in a spectacular fashion.